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17. Say No

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Your aunt asks you to rent an apartment to her chronically unemployed, anti-social son, "But, he's your cousin."

Your obviously drunk friend insists on driving you home.

Your roommate asks if it's OK for her leering boyfriend to move in.

Are you in control of your time or are your parents, children, spouse, bosses, employees, friends, television or addictions controlling your life? In the midst of the chaos of modern life, there are a lot of people, places and things vying for your attention. What do you want to do or have to do? You have every right to protect your time, your priorities and your physical and mental health.

You know what you need to do. Don't feel guilty. You have a right to protect your time and interests. Stay in control. The best way to respond is not to wimp out with half-hearted excuses and apologies. To a pushy salesperson, to a stalker or to your aunt, you have every right to say emphatically, "I'm not interested." Say it once and mean it. There is no reason to open a meaningless dialogue by explaining further.

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